The Random Dilettante

Random blurbs about life & art from yours truly…

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Archive for March, 2007

Mar
30

I Rock!

Posted by Glenda under Nerves, Randomness, work woes


This week was intense…that’s all I have to say. We had “Therapeutic Crisis Training” all week, otherwise known as “TCI” training. It all built up to a 3 series test today, that had me on pins and needles all week….I was so afraid I’d mess something up and fail. I’d try to remind myself to be confident and stop worrying so much, but it just wasn’t happening.

Part of the test was 3 different restraints we had to do without committing any “safety violations” — we practiced them for 3 days and I was still messing up stupid things. Something as simple as grabbing to low on the wrist is an automatic fail…so I’m sure my nerves didn’t help anything. Anyway, my body hurts from all the lunges I had to do while practicing. I’m talking 8 hours of lunges people!! That’s some crazy shit.

To keep the story short though, I passed all the tests with no problems, and I even got 100 on the written test! When it was all done and over with I felt so DAMN GOOD..like a thousand bricks had been lifted off my shoulders, and that’s no exaggeration!

Anyway, so that was my week. Stressful to say the least. When I got home at night all I wanted to do was sleep and maybe study a little bit. It sucked. B-I-G- T-I-M-E.

I also realized that when it comes to talking about what I went through as a child, as much as I think I’m ok with it…I’m really not. We had an exercise where I thought that it would be no biggie mentioning my past with adoption and foster care, but the minute I started getting into the details, my voice would quiver and I’d start getting all these nervous ticks. It’s like, even though my mind was trying to say I was alright with sharing, something deeper within wasn’t having it. At least not as cool and collected as I wanted it to come across. Not being able to control it, kinda (really) pissed me off. From now on though I’m staying away from the subject. I had this big idea that me coming from a similar background would some how help me relate to the kids in the home…but over the past week I’ve realized that mentioning something like that would put the focus on me, when it should truly be on the child, and if I’m going on about my experiences in the system, that’s not really helping them as much as me just listening to their personal experiences. Did that make any sense?? Bare with me…it’s Friday ;)

And I’m off tommorow! Oh yeah!! I’m going to be living it up, no doubt about it. I won’t have another day off until next Sunday…and that’s a maybe. So I’m going to cherish it!

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Mar
27

Adjusting?

Posted by Glenda under work woes

Right now my new job “training” is kicking my ass. Not that it’s overly hard or stressful, I’m just not used to trying to balance work and family time. I’ve been working a TON of hours, which isn’t helping either. The other day I had a shift in the cottage until 10 at night and then had to get right back at it the next morning at 6 am. I know it’s not THAT horrible or anything, I’m just not used to it yet, so it’s been challenging to touch base with my own children, let alone other people. There are days where I only see Taylor for 30 minutes at best.

Anyway, I’ll get off my soap box. I had more to say, but I’m wiped out for the night. I just hope my family out there understands and bears with me for a little while — as soon as I don’t feel so overwhelmed I’m going to get back in the swing of things. (I promise!!) I will be glad when this 3 weeks of training is up and maybe I can have some say in the hours I work…that is FOR SURE.

Anyway..much love to you all, and I’m thinking of you. (Mary & Tim included!) :)

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Mar
20

Alarm clocks are EVIL

Posted by Glenda under work woes


Andrew ended up extending his leave until the end of this week, so we could have another week to sort out child care, and yesterday I started “training” - I had to get up around 6am so I could leave by 7:30…my brain just isn’t used to getting up that early anymore! I mean, I had to set an alarm clock for gods sake! The travesty!

Today is actually what they call “cottage time” which is pretty much what I’ll be doing every day once training is over, it will be my first visit where I’m not observing but actually integrating myself. I’m a tad nervous, but I should be alright.

The thing is, it’s 4:20am right now..and I had to get up around 3:50am….EEEKKKK. My shift is from 5:30am- 1:30pm. Needless to say, coffee will be my savior today! I like my Red Machine, but I don’t think it’s going to do the trick this morning.

Anyway..off I go. Zombie mode back in effect…..

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Mar
16

I’m Confused

Posted by Glenda under Nerves


The last week has been sort of crazy..in my head that is. I got the job and I start training Monday, but since finding out the news I’m not even sure I want it any more. Finding childcare has been a pain, and where I want to put Audrey has a waiting list. It’s the child care center on post and one of the top child care centers in the nation. I used to work for them, so I know first hand how nice it is. They have a waiting list for full-time care though, and can’t even give you an estimate on how long it will be until you get offered care. They offer part-time care but the hours they offer are less than ideal and wouldn’t work around Andrews schedule at all. We have a few more small town places, but they really haven’t impressed me so far…so I’m hesitant. I love my girls to death and I’m beyond picky, if ya can’t tell!

All that mess has me thinking twice about taking the job, and then when I think of all the time I will be giving up it messes with my head too. I’ll be working a lot of weekends, a good amount of nights…and who knows how hard it will be to take some vacation if I want too. I don’t want to be working if family comes down to see us, and I wanted to be able to drive down to Kansas at least once this year so I could visit those who can’t come see me.

I have those reasons, and sometimes I think it’s also just cold feet…and maybe it’s just all the sudden change that’s making me nervous.

As of Wednesday I had said I wasn’t going to take the job, but just over 24 hours later I’m not so sure. I can’t make up my damn mind, and Andrew really doesn’t help much. On one hand he sees how the money will really help us out, and on the other he sees the sacrifice of family time for it, so he’s divided too.

Feel free to offer any advice or suggestions. Do you think it’s just my cold feet talking?

We are also looking into selling Andrews car (it’s paid off) and getting a Toyota Prius. I’ve mentioned it to him for ages because I love how good it is for the environment, and the 60MPG doesn’t hurt either! Andrew’s never been too excited about it cause he’s always wanted a jeep, but we just recently watched “An Inconvenient Truth” (the documentary about global warming by Al Gore) and it’s really got his head turning. Now he’s all for the Prius, and I’m seriously impressed!

We test drove a Prius today and let me tell you…that’s one bad ass little car. It has a “smart key” that senses when the car is near, so as your walking up to the car, even if the key is in your pocket it automatically unlocks the car. You don’t even need the key to start it….theres a little button on the console that you push that starts it. It’s crazy shit man. The console consists of a touch screen that controls everything in the car…no dials or anything, plus when you put your car in rear to back up, the console turns into a little TV and the camera that’s in the back of the car shows you everything behind you as your backing up. And that’s just some of the cool things about it..it nothing like I’ve ever seen before. One would think it would add up to a hefty price, but on average they are only a little over $23,000, and they come with a $1500 tax credit at the end of the year..not too mention all the money you can save in gas. Up here in NY, it’s nice to save some money on gas, cause the prices are high as hell. This summer we will no doubt be tipping over $3.00 again, if not sooner.

They appraised Andrews car really well too, so that works in our favor too. We are trying not to rush into anything though and be wise about it. I can not work and we would be ok financially, but if we took on another car payment, even if it was just $300, I wouldn’t have the luxury of not having a job.

In a way, if he gets it though it will help us make up our minds about my job cause we really won’t have a choice..so maybe that’s a good thing. Or maybe it’s not. I’ll be damned if I know. I need some serious perspective!!

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Mar
08

New additions!

Posted by Glenda under Randomness


I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, so sorry for that! We’ve been keeping busy and losing our minds at the same time. (more on that later!)

Anyway, there is so much exciting news around me..that, well…it’s exciting!! All my family have reported something MAJOR going on in their life, and it’s good things, so I feel grateful that so many good things are going on around me. I am beyond happy for all of them.

I am still waiting to hear back from The Children’s Home. I went to the observation last week and really enjoyed it. I had some preconceptions about the type of kids that would be in there, and all of them were shot down. I should know better and I usually try my best not to jump to conclusions about things, and have an openmind..but this time, for whatever reason I had it all set out in my mind. I’m a little disappointed in myself for it, but I learned a little lesson out of it, so that’s what counts, right? Basically the boys in there are too smart for their own good, and remind me of Andrew back in the day!

The next day after the observation I called and told them I was definitely still interested in the position, so now I’m waiting for a call back for a individual interview again, and then hopefully after that I can start traning. The human resources lady said she’d be out this week, so maybe that’s why I haven’t got a call back yet. I’m hoping so. I got evaluated on the….Yay…just picked up a call, and it was her!! She wants me to come in Monday to fill out some papers and talk about starting training! Whoo hoo! Anyway, as I was saying, I was evaluated on my observation, and I was hoping I did alright. The staff on duty had to comment on things like my demeanor and my interaction with kids, and a bunch of other stuff. I felt good about how things went down, it’s just as time passed and the more I waited for the call-back I started to doubt myself. Shame on me! I’m glad I can stop wondering about it..and the ball is rolling again.

In other news, last week I posted up Taylor’s old Gameboy SP and 6 of her games up for auction on Ebay. She’s been wanting a hamster, so she got this idea of selling her Gameboy so that she could pay for it. Andrew and I told her that she could get one, but it was coming out of her pocket. She ended up getting a little over $80 for it all, so this weekend we went hamster shopping! I had never even touched, let alone held a hamster before so the whole idea made me nervous. Andrew owned a few when he was a kid, so that helped though.

We ended up buying a dwarf hamster, which are tiny little boogers. So tiny that the cage she bought for her was way too big, it was one of those with all the fancy tubes. So I looked up dwarf hamsters on the net to learn more about them, and it said they do best in a aquarium, and with at least one tank mate so they wouldn’t get lonely! So then Andrew and I got this bright idea for us to keep the dwarf hamster and get her a roommate, and have that in our room, and then get Taylor a regular sized hamster that would go better with her fancy cage! The next day we went and got another female dwarf hamster, and one long haired hamster boy for Taylor.

See? Told you we lost our minds! The tank in our room is set up real cute though. It has a little tiki hut and wooden log in it..plus a few other things, it looks like a little island getaway..I love it. I’m slowly warming up to them too. At first I was scared to even pet them. Anyway their names are Chimi and Changa..hehe…get it?

Taylors little guy is called “Cesar” and we ended up taking back the fancy cage yesterday with all the tubes and shit. The wheel that was attached to it made ALOT of noise and Taylor wasn’t getting any sleep at night, and the water bottle was a piece of shit too. So they gave us our money back and we hooked her up with a 20 gallon aquarium meant for a reptile, so it’s long and now he has all sorts of cool things and a stand alone hamster wheel that it’s ultra quiet.

Besides all the hamster MADNESS not a whole lot else to report. Oh! Monday we went snowshoeing with my neighbor…and it KICKED MY ASS. Taylor was out of school because of snow, so all of us went, including Andrew who pulled Audrey in a snow raft thingy. The snow shoes I wore were way too small, so instead of keeping me from falling through all the snow, they helped me fall through it all! It was a nightmare, cause every time I took a step my leg would fall through and be buried up to my hips, so then I had to lift my leg again only to start over again. It was like walking up steps, but skipping 3 or 4 at a time. It smoked my ass. As soon as we got home I collapsed for a 4 hour nap and when I woke up I could hardly move, my muscles were so freaking sore! They are just now starting to feel like normal again. All in all though, I’d do it again..but with proper snow shoes next time! It was beautiful out there. I didn’t bring my camera but I wished I had, although it’s a good thing I didn’t cause it would have probably got snow all up in it which wouldn’t be good.

Anyway, I better go! Pictures of our hamsters coming soon!

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Mar
01

As promised!

Posted by Glenda under My Art, Photography

So here are some of the pics I’ve been meaning to get posted up!

I’ll start with our new addition, Brie!

Cute huh? I think so anyways.. ;)

And here’s some pictures I took of Taylor and her friends art:

“Crazy House” ~ by Taylor

“Seasons” ~ By Heather

This is the picture I took of Taylors art before I cropped it. There’s something about it I really like..maybe it’s my feet in the picture..I dunno. I love it though..yeah I’m weird ;)

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