The Random Dilettante

I thought dropping off Andrew last night was difficult…until I went to get ready for bed.  It was awful and painfully sobering.  And lonely.  Not to sound like a baby, but I cried myself to sleep like one.  I have barely 24hrs under my belt and I miss him so much.

I had a productive day today for the most part there’s just a sadness that I haven’t quite gotten ahold of yet.  In time I hope.

Now I know why I drank my way through the 1st deployment.  I would put the girls to bed and then get out the wine, not stopping until I hardly remembered how I got in bed that night.

I’m trying to not go that route this time, and be mature about things…not just numb myself to it all.  I have a feeling it’s going to be one hell of a challenge though.

I have some projects I want to get started this weekend that will help pass the time, so I’m looking forward to that.

I need to email my brother Damon and his wife Chaney and thank them properly, but while I am thinking of it, THANKS SO MUCH for the Birthday card and JoAnn Fabric gift card :)  Right before Andrew left we went there and I got a bunch of stuff to keep me busy…..Andrew was happy for me because he knows that (keeping busy) will be key in maintaining my sanity through this deployment.  So thanks again guys…you shouldn’t have….but I’m glad you did, hehe.

Hard to believe……

**Also a special shout-out to TimmyC …it’s his birthday too- Happy Birthday Tim! Miss you! Email me??? **

(click on the pic to go buy it!)

Ummmm….so I really want this painting. I have a smaller version of one kind of like it by Secret Agent Josephine.

It would be amazing to have the two paintings together on Audrey’s wall in her room.  Alas I can’t afford it right now

I think someone should totally go buy it for me ….don’t you?  Christmas is just around the corner you know!!  Screw that…OMG….MY BIRTHDAY!!  Did you know it’s in October??  The 9TH to be exact??  How close is that!?!?!  hehe

Hell yes!  It’s Friday!! I’m at work (as usual) and I’m pulling my last shift for the week and I’m about to start a 2 day weekend!  It’s been over a few months since I haven’t picked up an extra shift, so usually I get to sleep in Friday nights, but I’m back at it again Saturday at midnight.  It’s been wearing on me, to say the least.  Then last weekend I worked Friday night and ended up getting “stuck” till 4pm on Saturday…I was not a happy camper.  My 8-4 staff called in and when that happens they try to find someone to cover it, but if they can’t, the person already on shift gets stuck.  We had plans for Saturday too, so I was pretty upset…but what can you do.  It went on top of the overtime I already had, which is pretty good money, so at least they paid me a good bit to stay.  The money was the only thing that helped console me a little.

Normally I should be getting off at 8am on Friday mornings and be off till midnight on Sunday (my monday) -  it just hasn’t been the “norm” lately.  I’m hoping to start just picking up an extra shift every other week.  They’ve been short-handed though, so it’s hard to tell.  I have this weekend off, and thats all that matters for now!

I don’t even know what we’re doing this weekend, and I really don’t care.  I’m just happy to get 2 full nights in my bed
Oh!  And guess what I got for myself for my birthday?!?!  (ya gotta take care of yourself ya know, hehe)  I got one of those Senseo coffee makers that makes one cup of coffee at a time and the coffee comes pre-measured in little “pods” which is awesome.  It’s perfect for me because I’m the only one that drinks coffee at my house, and when I do it’s only 1 or 2 cups.   I can’t wait to try it out.  It’s supposed to be here tomorrow sometime.  yay!

Alright, I better go and get some work done.  More later!

For those of you wondering, my birthday went off well. I didn’t do a whole lot because I worked the night before, but Andrew and I did go out to eat at our favorite mexican place up here, so that was nice. I had a few glasses of wine and the conversation was great, I couldn’t have asked for much more. When we got back home, I went back to bed for a short nap before work and when I got up I had a message on my phone from my dad and he sang me Happy Birthday….not the short version either…the whole thing, hehe. He’s done it every year since we’ve been back in contact, it’s pretty funny and brought a smile to my face…even if he was being a big nerd. Thanks for the call dad.

Then today after work I checked the mail and had a card in there from my brother and sister-in-law, THANKS GUYS! It was probably there on my birthday, but I’m a reject and didn’t even think of checking that day. We don’t have a mailbox at our house, it’s at a big station at the end of our street, so it’s lucky to see me once a week. I’ve been trying to get into the habit of checking it on my way home in the mornings though…every once in a while there is something worth checking in there, lol.

I actually sat down and typed out a much better blog last night around 1 am but I got interrupted and even though I thought I saved it, when I went to retrieve it, there was no trace of my previous effort. I hate when that happens so I threw in the towel for the night. Lately I’ve had to sit back in the dorms of where I work because the rooms where the residents sleep don’t have sensors anymore due to some remodeling that’s going on. On one hand I don’t mind it because I get to sit back in the office, and I take the supervisors ethernet cord from his computer and hook up my laptop, so I have internet…which is pretty awesome.

The downfall is that I’m stuck in this chair most of the night, and I’m used to having the run of the cottage at night. I got into a routine of watching certain shows on TV and then doing all my tasks I need to get done at night during the commercials. It worked, and made my night pass pretty quickly. Now I have no TV, but with the internet I’ve actually got to watch a lot of the new shows that have been coming out. Mainly on ABC, because thier site is really good about offering full episodes online. It’s user friendly and puts out a great picture, I love it. I’ve watched “Pushing Daisy’s” and the one about Dirty Sexy Money…or something like that…both very good shows that had I not had the oppertunity to watch online I probably never would have seen. I hardly watch any TV at home anymore. I’m always either sleeping, cooking, cleaning…you name it, anything but watching TV. I don’t say this like it’s a good thing either!

Anyway, I better get off here for now. The security guy will be up here soon and that’s what happened last time, I stopped to talk to him and lost my post forever! Grrr…

It’s my 31st birthday today, and I figured I’d start it off right and create a new blog. My old blog @ blogger served me well, but I’m ready to move on. There’s just so much of my past wrapped up inside it…some of it worth forgetting. Ok, maybe not totally forgetting all of it, but I aim to work past it all instead of suspending myself in the stench of the past. Maybe that was half my problem lately with blogging; every-time I would post I would think about what my blog used to be, and how much has changed since I began it. Trust me, if you get into thinking like that for too long, things have a way of getting clogged up and words don’t flow very easily.

So here I am, with no guarantee’s, other than I hope this blog serves me as well as my last.

I’m 31 yrs old…that’s some crazy shit.  My age doesn’t bother me near as much as how fast I seem to have gotten here!  No lie, time flies wicked fast.  Before I know it I will be 40 years old…or 50…eek.  That’s truly scary.

Anyway…here’s to “moving forward” and not putting myself into a rut again.  I’m a “30 something” now…I gotta get my shit together!